What Lies Did My Abuser Tell Me, and What Is the Truth I Choose to Believe Instead?

Abuse isn’t just physical or emotional, it’s psychological. One of the cruelest tactics abusers use is planting lies in your mind until you begin to mistake them for truth. These lies become chains, keeping you small, afraid, and unsure of yourself.

But here’s the thing: their lies were never your truth. And today, you get to rewrite the narrative.

Let’s name those lies and replace them with the truths that will set you free.

Lie #1: “You’re nothing without me.”

Truth: I am whole and capable on my own. Your abuser wanted you to believe that your value depended on their presence. In reality, you were always the strong one, you survived them. You were complete before them, and you are complete without them.

Lie #2: “No one will ever love you like I do.”

Truth: Real love doesn’t hurt, control, or belittle. That wasn’t love, it was manipulation disguised as affection. True love is patient, safe, respectful, and kind. And yes, you are worthy of experiencing that, whether it’s with another person or in the love you give yourself.

Lie #3: “It’s your fault I get angry.”

Truth: Their behavior is their responsibility. not mine. Abusers twist reality to escape accountability. Their anger, violence, or cruelty was never caused by you. Adults choose how they act. And they chose abuse. That is on them.

Lie #4: “You’re too sensitive / too dramatic / crazy.”

Truth: My feelings are valid. My voice matters.Gaslighting is designed to make you doubt your own perception. But your instincts were right all along. You are not “too much.” You were reacting to mistreatment. Your emotions are signals, not flaws.

Lie #5: “You’ll never make it without me.”

Truth: I am stronger than I ever imagined. Maybe they controlled money, isolated you from friends, or made you feel powerless. But look at you now, you survived what was designed to break you. That strength is proof you can build a future without them.

Reclaiming Your Truth

Writing down the lies you were told and replacing them with truths—isn’t just an exercise. It’s a reclamation. Each time you affirm your truth, you chip away at the power those lies once had.

Here’s a practice you can try:

1. Write down a lie your abuser told you.

2. Cross it out, literally.

3. Underneath, write the truth in bold, powerful language.

4. Repeat it to yourself until it feels real.

Because the truth is this: their lies cannot define you unless you keep carrying them.

Final Word

Your abuser’s lies were tools of control. They were never reality. Today, you get to decide what to believe, and the truth is simple: you are worthy, capable, strong, and free.

Every time you reject a lie and choose truth, you step further into the life that belongs to you, not them.

Your truth is stronger than their deception. Your healing is louder than their voice.