A Letter to My Past Self: What I Wish I Could Have Said During the Abuse

Sometimes I imagine sitting down with the version of me who was still stuck in that relationship—the one who was hurting, doubting, and holding on to hope that things might change. If I could reach back through time, here’s the letter I’d write.

Dear Me,

I know you’re exhausted. You’re tired of crying in silence, tired of questioning yourself, tired of trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. I see you shrinking yourself to avoid conflict, convincing yourself that if you just try harder, love harder, sacrifice more, it will finally be enough.

But I need you to know something: you are already enough.

The way they treat you is not your fault. Their anger is not because of you. Their coldness is not because you failed. Their cruelty is not a reflection of your worth. It is a reflection of their brokenness, and it is not your job to carry that weight.

I wish I could reach across the table, take your hand, and say: You are not crazy. You are not imagining this. You are being abused.

One day, you will leave. And when you do, you will breathe differently. The tension in your body will loosen. The silence will no longer be a weapon, but a gift. And you will rediscover a version of yourself you thought was gone forever.

I know you’re scared of being alone, but loneliness is far gentler than being with someone who makes you feel invisible. Freedom will feel frightening at first, but it will turn into peace.

So, hold on. Keep that spark inside you alive, you know, the one that still whispers, “I deserve better.” That whisper is the truth. One day, it will become a roar.

And when that day comes, you will walk out, and you won’t just survive, you will rise. You will create a life filled with laughter, safety, and love that doesn’t hurt. You will be proud you made it through.

Until then, please remember you are loved, you are worthy, and you are stronger than you think.

With all the love you’ll one day feel for yourself, Me.

my Final Thoughts

Writing a letter to your past self can be a powerful exercise in healing. It allows you to see your journey clearly: the pain, the survival, and the resilience. More importantly, it gives you the chance to speak to yourself with the compassion you deserved all along.

If you are still in the healing process, try it. Write to the version of you who endured and remind them of who they are.

Because sometimes, the words we needed back then are the ones that keep us moving forward today.